Wednesday, April 8, 2015


I turned 36! I have to say I feel that I have aged a lot this past year.  I think part of it is because of the miscarriage. I feel like it took a toll on my body and I haven't quite gotten back to a place that I want to be in that department.  In general I have had a low level of depression most of the winter and that takes it's toll too.  I am trying to feel renewed and refreshed and ready to get ready for turning that corner to 40, but I also feel completely stuck in the 2-week cycle of TTC. Now that I am officially infertile (It's 6 months of no baby when you are AMA)--I know all the abbreviations.

TTC - Trying to Conceive
AMA-advanced maternal age

And did you know this one?

TTC after VR

WHAT? People are vlogging about TTC after a vasectomy reversal! That is mind blowing.
I digress.

I have also had all of my attention focused on making good decisions about the house we are building. This is such a blessing in our lives but adds a level of stress that crowds my mind.  I feel a bit like a hamster in his wheel runner (yes I had to look up what it was called), stuck in a place of waiting and wondering.  I am ready to form an action plan (namely healthy habits and preparing for my future), but I can't until I know if I am going to be a mother once again.

All of this aside, I recognize the tremendous blessings in my life. I have the most interesting and beautiful daughters. I have the most dedicated and loyal husband.  I have health and happiness, energy, beauty, faith and a lot of hair.  I feel honored to have been given 36 years here so far, and I so very much hope I get at least that many more.

Best birthday gift ever:


  1. I think you look absolutely lovely! Happy belated birthday! Hope your body feels strong and healthy again. It sounds like you need a big dose of Vitamin A and a week or more on the beach. Tell hubby!It has been a long winter even for us here in Georgia. We have had now 9 days of straight rain and I am loosing my mind. So glad you found Lolly after the race.

  2. It took us about 8 months to get pregnant with Maeve, and I was the same age you are now. Don't lose heart. And then Finn was a bonus. So don't give away your baby stuff.