I turned 36! I have to say I feel that I have aged a lot this past year. I think part of it is because of the miscarriage. I feel like it took a toll on my body and I haven't quite gotten back to a place that I want to be in that department. In general I have had a low level of depression most of the winter and that takes it's toll too. I am trying to feel renewed and refreshed and ready to get ready for turning that corner to 40, but I also feel completely stuck in the 2-week cycle of TTC. Now that I am officially infertile (It's 6 months of no baby when you are AMA)--I know all the abbreviations.
TTC - Trying to Conceive
AMA-advanced maternal age
And did you know this one?
TTC after VR
WHAT? People are vlogging about TTC after a vasectomy reversal! That is mind blowing.
I have also had all of my attention focused on making good decisions about the house we are building. This is such a blessing in our lives but adds a level of stress that crowds my mind. I feel a bit like a hamster in his wheel runner (yes I had to look up what it was called), stuck in a place of waiting and wondering. I am ready to form an action plan (namely healthy habits and preparing for my future), but I can't until I know if I am going to be a mother once again.
All of this aside, I recognize the tremendous blessings in my life. I have the most interesting and beautiful daughters. I have the most dedicated and loyal husband. I have health and happiness, energy, beauty, faith and a lot of hair. I feel honored to have been given 36 years here so far, and I so very much hope I get at least that many more.
Best birthday gift ever: