Tuesday, May 17, 2016


People ask me ALL THE TIME what products I use on my skin. Well here it is: And you can try it for 20% off....and even more if you use ebates!

Here's my referral link: http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=FXsPHXbNUHtb7%2FvLbXJjzg%3D%3D&eeid=28187

Monday, May 16, 2016

Art of Tidying Up

Angela and I keep finding ourselves together to clean on our assigned Saturday church cleaning assignment. We have had some frustrations with previous cleaners and apparently, each other....so we decided to do something about it!

Watch our shenanigans here.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day.

Here is where I am with mothering.

Each day is full of a rollercoaster of ups and downs.  I find myself completely proud and enchanted by them or one of them in one moment. And the next I find myself cursing them. If I didn't have kids, I wouldn't be cleaning up this quinoa from EVERY SURFACE, or wiping the quinoa poop from the toddler's butt (I do not suggest examining your poop after some good quinoa consumption...ew), or having my book mark pulled out of my book, or doing so many loads of laundry or, or, or...

And I am so grateful to be a mother. I am so grateful for the professional work that I have had the opportunity to do (mainly in my teens and twenties).  But I am having extreme difficulty reconciling the gifts and talents I have been given (tremendous, thanks be) with how I am spending my time.  I don't know if it is possible for me to feel content and comfortable with this time I am spending going to Target, Trader Joes, making the same meals over and over and over again, finding joy in the fact that I worked out today, that coke comes in mini cans, that I can eat peanut butter again.  I spend large parts of my day dreaming about another life, something else, something more.

I spend a lot of time feeling selfish. I want. I want. I wish.

I am so proud of my husband. He is everything to so very many people. He never stops. He doesn't fight depression. He goes and goes and goes. He is blessed, so we are blessed. It is family blessings. All of it shared. He gives us so much.  We want, he gives. He provides. He solves the problems, builds the dreams.  And he will say we have done it together, and we have.  He continues to progress and grow and change and climb and climb.  And I have difficulty watching this happen and wondering what I could achieve.  What could be?  

I know that these children are my achievement. I don't take the responsibility lightly and I am not throwing it away, but it is a constant cloud following me around--what if? what if?

So I am in a weird, conflicted place.  I received a blessing this past weekend and the words: Frustration and Joy were used in the same sentence. And that is exactly what it is. I am so frustrated.  I just want to be using my talents. My family is complete, I am out of my latest bout with depression, I want to get out there and do what I do...but I have made this choice and I also want to see THIS through. But it's not sexy, it's not applause, it's not hair and makeup.  It's spaghetti and all-purpose cleaner, and saturday nights at pep boys because the battery I just replaced is a lemon, and listening and hugging and cheering and organizing.  And it's exhausting most of the time and exhilarating here and there.

Today on Mother's Day my family left me alone.  And that's really all I want right now. A little space. A little me time.  And that's probably the wrong thing to feel, but that is what I feel today on this Mother's Day, 2016.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

I Knit: Namaste Top

As soon as I saw this sweater in the Knit Picks catalog I knew I had to knit it. I think I actually bought the yarn almost immediately.  It ended up being challenging. I was SO GRATEFUL the pattern designer was very communicative with me and responded SO QUICKLY.  One mistake I was making was just a brain fart that cost me hours of mistakes, but once I noticed I was reading the pattern wrong it came together quickly!  I wish I had known that I needed to pay attention to the stripes matching up under the arm, but I don't think you can really tell. I love how it fits!  

(purposely only showing the side I matched up correctly!)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

My loves

If I do this, my tinky toe will get dirty 

Calls a regular belt a seat belt. In the Gap: "these seat belts will fit on dad"

you are obsessed with reading Harry Potter. You are the perfect age for it, so it pleases me so much to see you devouring the books.

D: the shift in life outlook and general attitude since finding out about High School is remarkable. So glad the dark days of middle school are almost behind you. We are all looking forward to your bright future.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Wrangler Life

I have been wrangling a lot lately: Macy's, Tommy Hilfiger, Old Navy. I love being on set and being a part of something! It makes me happy, I love earning the money and having a break from the daily grind.  Motherhood has been hard this year.  I am always happy for the work opportunities.  

Here a model teaches me how to DAB while another one tries to squeeze into shoes that are way too tight.  The photog caught me escaping set!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

April Visitors

Right after my trip I had Utah friends come visit me! Whitney was here for a work event and it was so fun to spend time with her. I LOVE about my friends: we can just pick up where we left off!  I love my people!  I WISH arranged marriages were still a thing--her son and my Pip all the way!

We then got to hang out with our Jessen Girls. I have known Gracie since she was a baby in Maryland!  She is 16 now and so beautiful and lovely.  We showed them Chelsea Market.

We stopped by Warby Parker and Pippa asked if she looked like "a president" when she wore the wire rims.

Pippa LOVED her pixie stick.  Another friend introduced them to her earlier that day.  Thanks!(?)