Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Business

There are 3 days this summer in which our family is a bit separated.  And of course, the first of those three days is a family callback for a national network commercial.

I cannot believe my first audition back (after breaking the entire school year) is one that involves my children and that the callback has one of them gone away to camp.  I am already bribing the second one to miss the morning of her day camp so that she can attend the callback with me.  It would be so amazing if we booked this not only for triple or quadruple residual, but also a trip to LA to shoot the commercial!

This seems to happen all the time--whenever something gets scheduled that is exciting on a personal level, the business always tries to nudge its way in.  Maybe it will work out and we still book it.  Maybe they will see us again today and all agree that we are not right for the job.  It is just the anxiety/worry in between the 5 minutes we spent in the room last week and the 5 minutes we will spend today, that I loathe.

It's just that every time a potential booking is on the horizon, the agents and casting and everybody gets a little freaky because they want the booking too!  So I am trying not to be freaky today, just go with the flow.  I keep reminding myself that there is a reason I took a break and there is a reason my kids aren't in the business anymore, and that reason is so that we can enjoy life and be human and not let potential (not even DEFINITE) jobs get in the way of camp!

And let's say I hadn't started auditioning again this summer? I never would have even known this potential job was happening! That's a mental game I have to play all the time. I will see spots on tv, and wonder if I would have auditioned for that and IF I would have booked it....I am pretty good at stopping that train of thought...but this time it's bugging me.

The moral of the story is that I am a control freak! I want to be able to control this situation more than I can....but there is NOTHING I can change and that may mean that we don't book it.  But we could have just as easily not booked it for some other reason that has nothing to do with one of my girls' absence. Right? And we may still book it? So, I will be so happy at 10:15 when we are finished with this callback, Lolly makes her way to basketball camp and it is in the rearview mirror.  The end.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Big Girl Bed

For the past several weeks we have been working on a Girls Room Renovation.  It's so funny because I remember feeling like the first version of their room was so brilliant.  I picked out a giant bunk bed system in which someday I would be able to sleep 3.  And now that we need to sleep 3, it seemed like the biggest bed I could have ever picked and totally impractical.  

Last weekend the Bigs and I painted which was brilliant. I did not expect them to want to be involved.  Though it made the process a bit messier, I was so grateful for their work!  Priming and then 2 coats of paint went by so much faster with 3 of us.  Pickle went with Jason to the church for the morning as they put together the food orders.  

Next came the loft bed and settee below it, then the desk and yesterday the Murphy bunk beds were installed.  Pickle had her first night in her very own big girl bed.  It took her 2 hours to settle in (totally expected this) and we I heard her sleep talking throughout the night.  I could NOT fall asleep.  I think in the 2 years sharing a room with her I was so used to her sound machine, that the silence just kept me up! Also, I remember how the toilet sometimes drips, which I can't stand, and I used to always remember to close the bathroom door, but I never had to do that with the sound machine, so last night I was up out of bed closing it.

Every time I heard her in the next room I was up out of bed checking on her, because I just want to make sure her first night was a good experience, but she was always SOUND asleep, just talking!  

So, here is to a BETTER night tonight and an even better one AFTER THAT...and time in my bedroom PAST 7 with the LIGHTS ON!  Maybe I will sit in bed and read a book.  I want my apartment to feel a little more spacious again and I hope after this transition period that we will all find our spot and feel comfortable again.

We ARE that family jamming all our children into a room that is about half the size of ours, and it feels so right.

Monday, July 14, 2014

The Return


I decided to throw my hat back in the ring this summer and start auditioning again.  Whenever I have had a baby, it takes me about 2 years to start feeling like myself again.  That's why none of my babies are like 16 months apart or 2 years apart or just CLOSE together.  I start feeling good around 8 months post, and really good around 18 months, but not like myself until about a solid 2 years later.  

I like how my hair has grown out and I am happy with my body (I mean having babies TAKES ITS TOLL, BUT considering....) and I like my babysitter!

I went to my first casting last week.  It was like I had never left. Same people, same studio, same business look.  It is quite unfulfilling really, until you book---then it is fun to be on set working.

I saw a girl I have seen repeatedly over the years and I asked myself--has she been doing this all this time I was on break?  Are people just doing this day in and day out the same thing over and over and over again? I realized how monotonous it is.  And just like that, that long break of mine, had me wishing for another.

On a more large-scale-umbrella effect plane---(plain?)---I like the business because it motivates me to be my best self, be professional, not lose sight of that part of me that is not a mother--keep up my appearances and brain ....but small scale me is pretty tired of it all.

I worked my first acting job a few weeks ago and it was nice to be on set reading my lines and doing my job.  I liked it.  I like the challenge of reading pages and pages of copy without making a mistake. I like getting paid to do a job...it's just the GETTING the job part that leaves much to be desired.

So I will see how the summer goes...see if I get holds or bookings or a national network commercial---or a miracle---be the next Flo or Jan (toyota) or Can you hear me now?  I have never really auditioned with this long hair so I am interested to see how that is a game changer as well.

I will keep you posted and maybe you will see me on the tube or in a magazine---anybody still read those?


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Road Trip Surprise

When we found out that Lindsay was coming to my Mom's house for the 4th, we decided to surprise them!  That was a long drive! I don't know how I did that road trip last year, I was so tired getting to Chicago and back.  We had a great time though! We ate too much, sang, road bikes and missed Samika and Coreilly. 


You can see more videos from our trip on our youtube channel --that has been taking all the attention from the blog lately!

On the 4th I ran in the Firecracker 5K which was really fun-I love a small town event!

I met Uncle Sam and ran my little heart out---I am UNDER TRAINED right now, but finished strong!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Cousins!

I loved watching Pickle try to strangle hold her baby cousin last week.  They are going to be sweet buddies someday.











Friday, July 11, 2014

Knit: Cardigan

I saw this sweater on craftsy and decided to challenge myself to it!  I honestly thought the pattern came with instructional video so I sould be ok....but it didn't.
I did require one private lesson at lion brand to help me go from two sleeves and a main piece to one solid piece, but that was pretty easy! (Honestly, I should have just gone to their free knitting help, because it took 5 of my 45 minute lesson to show me!)  But Gretchen at LB KNOWS her stuff and I will definitely be going back when I am stuck again.

Guys! I made a cardigan! And I used my special buttons that I got in Iceland to finish it off.  Yes, this is a size 6 month sweater, not meant for Pickle, but she modeled it pretty well.  In fact the photo on the website also had about this size sweater on this size child, but they masked it by adding a shirt underneath and made it look like they had rolled up the sleeves (which I can't find now to show you.)

I knit this for Sam's Baby Noah.  Pickle says BABY NOAH sooooo cute.  I can't wait to see a pic of him in it when he is big enough.


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Mid-day crisis

Around noon today I realized that summer has begun.
Like, for the next eternity of weeks I am going to wake up and all 3 kids are going to bug me all day long.

Turn that off.
Clean your room.
Don't eat pancakes for mid-day snack.
Why the bleep do I STILL not have a working dryer?

The lack of plan and the lack of laundry are getting to me.  I am feeling stuck and opportunistic all at the same time.  What is happening?

I am not quite sure.

I hope it is some sort of hormonal surge, but it isn't quite in the right spot of my cycle.  You know those days when you really shouldn't interact with anyone or make any important decisions? That is how I was feeling today.

Imbalanced.

A sense of unbalance.

Not that last summer's epic road trip could be coined as RELAXING by any stretch of the imagination, but it was an ESCAPE.

Right now all I want to do is sit outside on a chair away from bugs but close enough to nature that my nasacort is working well and knit or read or breath or doze.

That scene is not anywhere on my horizon.  Partly because I have a 2 year old.  Also, because it's SUMMER in the CITY this year and friends, I am starting to really crave that first day of the road trip last year---ESCAPE---POSSIBILITIES--ADVENTURE.

I need to focus and take a breath and be brave. I can do this?

Yes that question mark was not a typo.

Can I do this?

I can do this?

I guess we'll find out.

For now all I can think about is eating chocolate chip cookies.  But I don't have any....